True Love vs: Infatuation

True love is a principle not a feeling of attraction that is here today and gone tomorrow; but most of all it is a choice that one intentionally makes when the romantic feelings have vanished into thin air.

How Straight Men Express Their Inner Gay Man*

There are several ways in which straight men express their inner gay man. Here are just a few of them:

1) Watching football or any other game during which men complete against each other by playing with their balls.

2) Wrestling: Where else can straight males watch nearly naked males feel each other up and still maintain the false plausibility of the facade of heterosexuality?

3) Reading Sports Illustrated and/or the sports section of the daily newspaper which feature the men who make their fame and fortune by playing with their balls.

4) Smoking cigarettes and/or cigars as well as sucking on Tootsie Roll Pops or Dum Dum suckers which double as phallic symbols of the male sexual organ. The enjoyment of which is an excellent means of practicing the techniques of pleasuring that special man in your life. While hard candies such as peppermints, butterscotch and other assorted flavors double as phallic symbols of the male testes.

So go ahead and enjoy yourself fellows for ya know what they say practice makes perfect.

*There was a time when I was openly taunted and accused of being Gay because I was a vegetarian who didn’t eat meat and cared nothing about sports or hunting or fishing.

I have no problem or beef with those who do enjoy those activities.

On the other hand I do have a problem with those who insist that sports, the deliberate killing of animals and eating meat define those; who participate in them as masculine and accuse those who show no interest in these activities as non masculine or gay.

It is exceedingly dangerous to taunt and falsely accuse a Poet like myself since I will not hesitate to turn an argument or concept inside out: Thereby creating an intellectual meme or virus that I will use without mercy to strike at the attacking individuals sense of self.


My life
is not quite like I’d thought
or hoped
that it would be at this time
nor does

There seem
to be anything my heart can
do about it
accept to pray give it to the
Lord above

For no
matter how hard my heart
tries – no
matter how nice, loving and
kind it

Tries to
be it is never quite good
at home, church nor on
my job

Why I’m No Longer a Christian


To put it simply Christianity is a one or the other proposition: one either goes to heaven or hell – there is no other choice.

Ever since I was nine years old my heart has been a marshmallow on a skewer within the flames of an emotional hell.

On my birthday this year in April that will be the beginning of the 50th anniversary year of when my mother chose to divorce my father.

My brothers and I have paying the price for her choices ever since then.

Her choices led directly to the death of my father and the suicide of my younger brother from her second marriage.

And is the root cause that led to the choices I made during my twenties, that has destroyed all chances, along with the hope of my ever experiencing the full range of true happiness with a woman.

The irony being that by the time I fully understood what I really wanted in a relationship: needed from a woman; there is no longer any chance or possibility of that ever happening except through a long range relationship over the internet.

Don’t get me wrong I am happier than I have ever been, and my best friend here on WordPress makes me very happy, her presense in my life brightens my otherwise dark and dreary life.

And yet it pains me that I will never be able to experience the full complete range of love: mentally, emotionally and physically/sexually with a women who choses to love me simply because I’m worth being loved.

Still my best friend here on WordPress completes me in ways my wife can’t and refuses to do and I am very grateful for that.

In spite of the half century of emotional pain I have experienced: I am a better person who is able to understand other’s and help them to the best of my ability.

Still my life has been such that I neither desire to burn in hell; nor spend an eternity with a God who allowed what I have endured to happen.

The kindest thing God could do for me is to allow me to fall asleep and never wake up when my time comes.

I have been through enough hell already and have absolutely no desire to experience another.