No Longer Afraid of Being Alone

For as long as I can remember
of being alone I’ve been afraid
to avoid ending up alone and lonely
is why I married and started a family

Even after twenty-four years of marriage
my wife still doesn’t understand me
no longer do I think that she ever will
if she ever does no longer do I care

Growing up in a blended family many times over
alone I always was and learned to be
not once was I ever understood
nor did those around me ever really try

With my childhood in such utter chaos
the result of my parents immature choices
kept off balance by abuse and depression
until sixteen my world just kept spinning

From state to state and town to town
my parents kept us moving
so from school to school did I hop
that even now my friendships don’t last

Now that over the hill I am
of this I’ve come to accept and embrace
my life shall always be very lonely
for a loner truly I am and will always be

No longer do I seek the acceptance of others
for without a single doubt
they’ll only see what they want to see
the acceptance and understanding I crave

From within myself I’ll just have to make do
alone with my dreams and fantasies
the books and movies upon my book shelves
and my best friend the computer upon my desk

Dear Mother

All my life I’ve both loved and hated you
loved you for after all you are my mother
hated you for being forced to suffer innocently
the consequences of your immature choices

Yet even though I would not forgive you
always I’ve tried to treat you as if I had
by being there when you needed me
refusing to walk away in spite of the pain

At the time you asked me to forgive you
I could not, would not even consider doing so
the pain your choices caused
still I can not and will not ever forget

To forgive is Devine and I’m no saint
yet today I’m struggling to forgive you
the pain is part of who I am
to forget would be to deny who I am

Yet the pain has helped me to grow
the rain has stopped, the storm is past, the darkness lifted
though peace I’ve yet to find
today with you to terms I’ve come at last

The Day My Life Changed Forever

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I can still remember
that day nearly fifty years ago
When my mother had

My two brothers
And I sit together on the couch
When she told us

That our daddy
Would no longer be living with us
The tears we shed

Even now as I
Write about that day my tears
Once again fall

The questions that
To this day still remain unanswered
For that was the

Day my journey
Through hell began the price for my
Mother’s choices

My brother’s and
I began to pay as our lives changed
Never to be the same

A Woman’s Best Destiny

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Just as our
World the planet known as
Mother earth

Is a womb of
Of life protected by a shinning
Hemisphere

A good
Woman encapsulates her
Husband

And children
Within the sphere of her golden
Influence

Softening
The love of her life’s
Rough edges

Inspiring
Him to be a better man
Then he

Already is
Like ripples in a pond
Created by

A stone
Her influence spreads far
And wide

Through her
Children touching the lives of
Countless others

Inspired by Hema