Seeing

When I look at myself in the mirror
so often only to see what I want to see
or look at myself through another’ eyes
only to see what they think of me

Yet somewhere in the middle lies who I am
for when I look at myself through my writings
there but by the grace of god I discover
both who I am and could have been

 

Consumed

Deep within my heart there is a war
a battle between good and evil
to decide the eternal question of my fate
who shall fully possess my soul

How can I continue to go on this way
my heart divided by the good called love
yet cursed by the evil called hatred
as the fire of anger burns within my soul

Consuming me within it’s destroying flame
all the good within slowly burned away
leaving only hatred to fill an empty void
long forgotten of the kind of man I used to be

Sadness

There is a pain within my heart
a shadow of darkness caressing my innermost soul
of needs unmet and love unfulfilled
a sadness that will not abate or go away

To marry young only to grow so far apart
is a tragedy hard to endure indeed
to fall so far out of love
takes away the joy that makes life worth living

Having to rely upon another’s smile
because your mates has grown dim and cold
one who could never be told of hidden feelings stirring
doesn’t make for a happy life indeed!

Of this truth I am convinced
happiness can not be found within a bottle
or within the arms of a woman
but is a choice we ourselves must make!

 

Three Things

There are three things that I’ll gladly let you have
my wife if you really want her I’ll let you take from me
my car for I can always walk upon my feet
if it will save your life my blood or an organ I’ll gladly give

But!

Should you ever try to take away my pen or pencil
misplace or destroy any of my notebooks
or God forbid lay a finger upon my electronic lover
the computer that sits upon my desk

Then my friend you surly take your life within your hands
for with my fist I will wipe away the smile right off your face
rip out your heart with my bear hands from your chest
all within the twinkling of an eye

Just because you dared to touch my computer!

It’s Not Easy Being A Poet

It’s not easy being a poet these days
especially one who suffers from depression
overly sensitive to the ups and downs of life
to soar like an eagle one moment
plunge into the valley of despair the next
whose family out right ignores and despises
intentionally misconstrues what you say and do
doesn’t care or even tries to understand

It’s not easy being a poet these days
when your wife insistently demands the right
to tell you what you can read, write and watch on tv
tries to control the very thoughts within your head
when your so called friends come and go
like the sun and moon on a cloudy day and night
here one moment when they need something
gone the next until they need or want something else

It’s not easy being a poet these days
whose coworkers all say that your feminine and gay
because in your heart you care, can feel another’s pain
like to read and write instead of watching sports
can’t stand the taste or smell of beer and alcohol
to contemplate the intricacies of life
while that very life seems to pass you by unnoticed
to be an observer standing alone on the sidelines

It’s not easy being a poet these days
to comprehend that which others refuse to see and hear
yet in spite of all the condemnations, false accusations
the awful loneliness and the cruel and heartless teasing
not a single thing would I be tempted to change
for nor longer do I write just for my contemporaries
but for those who shall come after me
who will read my words long after I’m dead and gone

For I Am DaPoet and A Poet I Shall Always Be!

Oh How I Love Your Anger!

Oh how I love the fire that lights your eyes
as they blaze with anger at little o me
the curve of your lips as you scream and yell at me
makes me just shiver and tremble all over

Oh how I love to read your vengeful attacks aimed at me
because they show just how much you care for me
I’ve never had so many love letters disguised as hate
oh how they thrill my heart as I read them

I must confess I’m very flattered you find me so interesting
so please I beg you show your love for all to see
by throwing a few more pointed barbs my way
I promise to read and keep them all close to my heart

 

Lost

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Lost within the woods of anger and hatred
wandering alone and frightened in circles
over shadowed by the darkness of despair
hopelessly searching for the pathway home

Where is the fork in the road I choose to take?
those many long years ago sowing wild oats
retracing my steps fleeing from the bitter harvest
yet the consequences no other choice but to reap

Living only for the present ignoring the future
failing to plan for the storms of life to come
blinded by the perceptions of my youth
now in middle age a mess to clean and straighten

What could have been a fading dream of youth
my only choice to turn from the bitter past
learning from my mis-choices not to repeat them
ever walking forward step by painful step

Focusing on the journey instead of the goal
enjoying the fullness of each fleeting moment
though redemption eludes me still
until at last into the shadow of death I fade

Within the hearts of others we leave behind
memories and images whether good or ill
tools that help or hinder another’s journey
powerful words spoken to heal or destroy

Perhaps after I’m gone and long forgotten
my poems others will read and understand
the mis-choices I’v made; lessons learned hard
my painful and sad consequences they’ll avoid

Taking comfort and warmth from the knowledge
that another has walked this pathway before
blazing a trail; marking the pitfalls of mis-choices
learning from the painful experiences of another