Lost

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Lost within the woods of anger and hatred
wandering alone and frightened in circles
over shadowed by the darkness of despair
hopelessly searching for the pathway home

Where is the fork in the road I choose to take?
those many long years ago sowing wild oats
retracing my steps fleeing from the bitter harvest
yet the consequences no other choice but to reap

Living only for the present ignoring the future
failing to plan for the storms of life to come
blinded by the perceptions of my youth
now in middle age a mess to clean and straighten

What could have been a fading dream of youth
my only choice to turn from the bitter past
learning from my mis-choices not to repeat them
ever walking forward step by painful step

Focusing on the journey instead of the goal
enjoying the fullness of each fleeting moment
though redemption eludes me still
until at last into the shadow of death I fade

Within the hearts of others we leave behind
memories and images whether good or ill
tools that help or hinder another’s journey
powerful words spoken to heal or destroy

Perhaps after I’m gone and long forgotten
my poems others will read and understand
the mis-choices I’v made; lessons learned hard
my painful and sad consequences they’ll avoid

Taking comfort and warmth from the knowledge
that another has walked this pathway before
blazing a trail; marking the pitfalls of mis-choices
learning from the painful experiences of another

Entitled

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My family thinks I’m crazy!

Always have and always will.

They’re “wrong” of course but after two stepmothers, eight stepfathers and four sister in laws.

As well two brothers, one half brother, two step brothers, two adopted sisters and one stepsister.

After attending seventeen different schools in four states, the death of my father from an STD (VD) infection intentionally given to him by one of my step-mothers.

The suicide of my youngest brother about a year or so after his daughter told him to his face; that she would have no problem with going before a judge and falsely claim that my brother had hit her when he’d never touched her.

Along with thirty-six plus years of marriage. Quite frankly I’m entitled to my eccentricities.

Most Of All

What do you want most out of life my friend?
all want happiness the smile of good fortune
others think that a high powered job, good salary
are the ticket to the good life beyond today
while others think that an expensive car
a house far to large filled with exotic furnishings
are necessary for a life filled with happiness

While others think a husband to take care of them
or God forbid a wife to wait hand and foot upon them
who in her heart curses the man who cares for her
then there are those who believe the bumper sticker
“He who dies with the most toys wins.”
collecting electronic gadgets or Beanie Babies
wasting hard earned money on expensive useless things

Of course there are others who bother to smell the roses
look around to dwell upon the surrounding beauty
take pleasure in the warm smile of another,
paint a picture, write a poem or to read a book
their eye of peace and comfort within the storm
but as for me what I want from life and others most of all
Is simply to just be left alone!

To live my life as I see fit to live it
without the interference of those others
who think that they know better but know nothing at all
taking calculated risks and making my own mistakes
instead of spending the best years of my life
within the box my family and wife think is best
while watching my dreams wither away until they die

DaPoet

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How long ago it truly seems
a bright eyed lad I twas
gazing into a star filled sky
dreams of far away places in my heart

Longing to travel throughout space
exploring the galaxy far and wide
seeing what no human has seen before
to stand upon the edge of reality contemplating infinity

Escaping the sorrows of my youth
into the land of day dreams fleeing
still chased by the darkest nightmare
of a cruel step mothers tormenting hate

Learning to endure while striving to forget
journeying from star to star
until at last myself I did discover
none other than DaPoet seeking release

Writing my poems for others to enjoy
the thoughts, feelings and dreams
of a heart once tormented, burdened and sad
now set free by pen, paper and computer

Dreaming

I’m dreaming of a grease less day
just like I used to know a month and a half ago
before the NCP line forever shut down
when I went home sweaty and dirty
not covered in grease from head to toe

I’m dreaming of a Rayloc free day
looking forward to a vacation so far away
when I can sit upon my front porch
sipping cold Mystic Pina colada’s
reading novels while being browned by the sun

I’m dreaming of winning the lottery
of having to never work again
living the life of a millionaire so rich
doing whatever I want whenever I want
a life of leisure steeped in splendor

I’m dreaming of all my debts being paid
no credit card bills to cloud my sunny days
all my needs supplied and sated
so never again will I have to sing this song
I owe! I owe! So it’s off to work I go!

I’m dreaming of traveling far and wide
helplessly trapped within gravities cruel grasp
still within my mind to unknown worlds I travel
while my body is working on the task at hand
many strange and wonderful adventures I conceive

I’m dreaming…
no doubt when I’m old I’ll be dreaming still
though of being young once more
to live the years of my carefree youth again
wondering where all the years have gone

Now with all this dreaming have I really lived at all?

I Am a Man So Get Over It

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I am a man and I’m not ashamed of my manhood
all I ask is to be treated with respect
to be treated with fairness and kindness
women demand that men listen to them when they speak
so I expect you ladies to do the same for me

I am a man and I’m sick and tired of being attacked
just because I have a different point of view then many women
is it too much to ask women to accept men for who they are
instead of just assuming that all men are alike-evil?
or should I return to the low opinion of women I harbored in the past?

I am a man and I abhor domestic violence in all it’s forms
but one thing that I have never been able to clearly understand
is how women can advocate, defend and justify abortion
to support the putting to death of their unborn child without medical reasons
only to complain about the abuse they suffer is to me the height of hypocrisy

I am a man and I’m very proud of that accident of conception
always willing to be a friend to whomever needs one
but if you can’t treat men with respect and listen to their viewpoint
while expecting your needs as a woman to be met whether reasonable or not
then please just stay away from me for I don’t need the grief you’ll inflict

I am a man and I consider myself to be a kind, caring and sensitive person
but I’m awful tired of having to deal with the hatred for men that feminists harbor
I take responsibility for my actions, choices and mistakes
so why can’t women do the same and stop blaming men for all their woes
stop whining like losers and start working hard like winners

I am a man and yet my wife can have me removed from my home
our car the court will allow her to take away from me as well as my child
yet I’m expected to work hard and pay the bills
then listen to her gripe and complain when I get home exhausted
how weary I have become meeting her needs while she ignores mine

I am a man and should I get angry and yell at my wife or another woman
today it is called verbal abuse
or I can be labeled repressed or a wimp should I chose to remain quiet
yet when a woman gets angry, yells and provokes a fight
it’s then said that she is only venting her anger and expressing her feelings

I am a man and I often pause to wonder about and am amazed
at the double standards that many women insist on holding onto
they want men to think of them as a person and not as a sex object
yet many women will dress in such a way that exposes the curves of their bodies
that then attracts the very attention they claim not to want

I am a man and should I tell a joke that belittles women or an ethic group
a sexist and a racist I would then be labeled
yet women seem to think that it is quite all right to tell jokes that belittle men
how often I wonder why men are held to such high standards
while women are given an excuse for each and every one of their failures

I am a man and though I am saddened that the law won’t uphold my rights
when it comes to fathers visitation rights
that many men are oppressed by their ex wife’s unreasonable demands
burdened by child support they must pay for the children she won’t let them see
their most basic rights denied by her venomous spite

I am a man and a man I will always be no one can take this from me
so I am filled with hope that the day will surely come
when women will be required to toe the line the same as men
while men will be accorded the same rights as women to their children
then and only then will women become as equal to men as they claim to be!

I am a man and a man I will shall always be!

Farewell My Friend!

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Once when I was a child
standing before my Grandmothers mirror
I am so ugly!
was the thought that came to my mind

Because I was so different from everybody else
suffering from the black dog of depression
never feeling fully accepted by anyone
my own father rejected me in favor of others

Oh I had a friend every now and then
mostly though alone I walked the path of life
learning how to live within the world of daydreams
in the effort to relieve the dark pain

Building a protective shell about me in self defense
of what was left of my emotionally crippled self
never really understanding myself or others
having made many mistakes that are now regrets

Never daring to share my inner feelings with another
lest I be laughed at or condemned
for no one has really understood who I am
nor is there even one who really wants too either

How I long for the love and respect of a woman so gentle
secure enough within herself to accept me for who and what I am
helping me to grow without trying to change me
into someone who I don’t want to chose to be

For twenty-eight years I have been married
yet not once having felt truly accepted therefore loved
having no friend or source from which to draw the warmth of life
how can I give to my wife what she herself can’t give to me?

Though there are those I used to write as pen pals
still it seems that my wife is right
that those who come to know me in person
want nothing to do with me including my own brothers

Perhaps the time has come at long last
after so much anger, hate and disappointment
no longer able to endure the pain of anothers rejection
to hide my inner self behind the walls of a protective shell

Hoping that one day within the distant future
someone somewhere will read my poems
the real person inside perhaps they will discover
for only after I am gone will I ever be accepted

So for now its only for the best
that I dwell alone within my creative shell
not fully living without hope yet not quite dead as yet
so my friend at last I bid thee forever farewell!