How Straight Men Express Their Inner Gay Man*

There are several ways in which straight men express their inner gay man. Here are just a few of them:

1) Watching football or any other game during which men complete against each other by playing with their balls.

2) Wrestling: Where else can straight males watch nearly naked males feel each other up and still maintain the false plausibility of the facade of heterosexuality?

3) Reading Sports Illustrated and/or the sports section of the daily newspaper which feature the men who make their fame and fortune by playing with their balls.

4) Smoking cigarettes and/or cigars as well as sucking on Tootsie Roll Pops or Dum Dum suckers which double as phallic symbols of the male sexual organ. The enjoyment of which is an excellent means of practicing the techniques of pleasuring that special man in your life. While hard candies such as peppermints, butterscotch and other assorted flavors double as phallic symbols of the male testes.

So go ahead and enjoy yourself fellows for ya know what they say practice makes perfect.

*There was a time when I was openly taunted and accused of being Gay because I was a vegetarian who didn’t eat meat and cared nothing about sports or hunting or fishing.

I have no problem or beef with those who do enjoy those activities.

On the other hand I do have a problem with those who insist that sports, the deliberate killing of animals and eating meat define those; who participate in them as masculine and accuse those who show no interest in these activities as non masculine or gay.

It is exceedingly dangerous to taunt and falsely accuse a Poet like myself since I will not hesitate to turn an argument or concept inside out: Thereby creating an intellectual meme or virus that I will use without mercy to strike at the attacking individuals sense of self.