It seems the only way to stop the pain – the only thing I can do.
To put an end to the mourning – let go of the anger.
Is to accept that fate has played a cruel joke upon me at my expense.
That it was never meant for me to experience the full range of True Love with a woman: Mentally, Emotionally and Physically/Sexually.
Those my heart loves today it will continue loving – to them be an open book.
To those who follow my heart is closed forever.
A friend to those in need my heart shall always be – giving with no expectations or thoughts of a return upon my investment.
Still never again will my heart love any other as a husband or a lover.
My heart will do its duty – fulfill its vows to my wife even though she does not really love me.
To meet her needs even though she is too self centered – focused upon herself – to even consider that I have unfulfilled needs only she can fulfill as a wife, friend and lover.
In spite of the fact that life with her is as cold and lifeless as the grave.
Even though inside my heart – my life will be a living death throughout the winter of my twilight years.
For I can do no other.