Resigned To My Fate


It seems the only way to stop the pain – the only thing I can do.

To put an end to the mourning – let go of the anger.

Is to accept that fate has played a cruel joke upon me at my expense.

That it was never meant for me to experience the full range of True Love with a woman: Mentally, Emotionally and Physically/Sexually.

Those my heart loves today it will continue loving – to them be an open book.

To those who follow my heart is closed forever.

A friend to those in need my heart shall always be – giving with no expectations or thoughts of a return upon my investment.

Still never again will my heart love any other as a husband or a lover.

My heart will do its duty – fulfill its vows to my wife even though she does not really love me.

To meet her needs even though she is too self centered – focused upon herself – to even consider that I have unfulfilled needs only she can fulfill as a wife, friend and lover.

In spite of the fact that life with her is as cold and lifeless as the grave.

Even though inside my heart – my life will be a living death throughout the winter of my twilight years.

For I can do no other.

19 thoughts on “Resigned To My Fate

  1. I live in India. I am a HR professional. I am passionate about writing since I was a teenager. Started writing quotes intially. Posted my quotes on my FB. I have written about 150+ quotes. Then posted my poems in FB again which were in Hindi and English. Wanted to start blogging and here I am now. That covers much. My name is Hema. ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I live in Bremen Georgia about 40 miles west of Atlanta Georgia United States.

      I’m a self taught poet. I started writing when I was 16 stopped when I was 22 and begin writing again after my father died when I was 35-36 yrs. old.

      For the past 38 yrs I’ve worked in two factories while writing as a hobby.

      Everything posted on this blog I wrote on my own.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I am so sorry for your loss. May your father’s soul rest in peace.

        I am a self taught poet too. I do not understand different aspects or genres or whatever they are called of poetry. I am not educated in that area. I write on what I got to learn from life, my experiences, and my thoughts. I kinda feel thrilled when I write. Lively could be the word.
        I came up with this idea of a series on our senses in a relative manner, and thought it would be a great idea to begin blogging with this.

        I will take time and try to read all your work here on WP.
        It is nice to know you, Dabir.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hello Hema

        It’s nice knowing you too as I enjoy making new friends.

        You are beautiful – I looked at your gravatar photo.

        If you don’t mind me asking your age and if you are married? You don’t have to tell your age if you don’t want too.

        I’m 58 and will turn 59 at the end of April leaving me a year away from the long winter and twilight years of my life.

        Your name reminds me of Emma so I looked it up and learned that your name means She Knows and Golden. I really think that’s neat.

        I also liked the way you paired Hema and sphere together as a play on the word hemisphere.

        Just like the planet we live on and share; it is a womb of life surrounded by a hemisphere. It is absolutely true that events whether political or ecological that happen on either side have the potential to affect the other side as well sometimes good or bad.

        Another perspective is that a good woman surrounds her husband with a hemisphere of influence that softens his nature, brings out the good in him and makes him a better man.

        If he allows her too.

        On the other hand a bad woman brings out the very worst of his nature making him courser and more uncouth than he was before he met and married her.

        Of course a husband does the same for his wife as well whether good or bad.

        A third perspective (go ahead and blush I’m going to write it anyway) is how a woman engulfs and encapsulates her husband when they make love to each other. This allows a husband to gently plow the field of his wife’s garden (her body) and sow his seed,

        The resulting children being not only a product of their union of oneness but a reflection of their love for each othe. Who like ripples in a pond spread out with their influence touching the live of countless others for good or ill.

        I like to think deeply about many things and right now I’m fascinated with how a man and woman intertwine together mentally, emotionally and physically/sexually. Just as the human brain is actually made up of three brains (the primitive or reptile brain that houses the subconscious and autonomic nervous functions, the mid brain that houses our emotions and the higher brain that gives humans the capacity to think, reason and make moral choices) designed to function together as one.

        I would love to read your thoughts on this and what stood out to you that made you like my essay. I thought it out on my way to work and wrote it out in about thirty minutes or so before I are my breakfast in the break room this morning.

        Have a good evening, a restful sleep and a great day tomorrow.

        Hope to read from you soon.


        Liked by 1 person

  2. I will indeed explain😊… I’m not sure whether my interpretation is right or not, but you’re saying that you’re willing to disregard the fact that your needs aren’t being fulfilled as a whole, yet “[you] can do no other”. It speaks volumes so much as to portray your integrity as a husband. Although she may not love you, you don’t dwell on it, but instead do the best you can. Again, this is only my interpretation. But something caught my attention in that last paragraph and it was beautiful, it reminded me to be thankful for what I have right now😊❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. After reading your comment I broke down and cried – still crying as I write this.

      I’m assumimg you are the wife with whom I’m conversing with.

      At least it reads life the feminine style I read on your blog where I left my comment.

      You can make both of you an administrator of your blog and set it so that the posts will bare your name as the author that wrote it. It will cut down on the confusion as to whom wrote what.

      Thank you for understanding my intent in writing this essay.

      It is because of my recent understanding of what true love means especially in a marriage as a man and woman intertwine together and around each other: mentally, emotionally and physically/sexually – sex being the icing on the cake/body of the marital relationship.

      That I am in this quantry. I’ve given up on my wife after 36 yrs + of marriage and really want to move on so that I can experience this kind of love with someone Who will really love me.

      But as I thought about this I realized that I stood at a crossroads. If I choose to leave my wife it would destroy my credibility of what I’ve been writing about and posting on my blog in regards to true love.

      On the other hand my wife will never understand or acknowledge what I am personally giving up to stay with her.

      It all comes down to the definition of true love found in the old testament and the other in the new testament of the Bible:

      Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.


      Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

      I can’t justify abandoning my wife in pursuit of true love simply because I would not want her to do that to me. Plus how could I ever be trusted to love another truly if I did leave her without the support and comfort of our home and medical insurance.

      And it is tearing me apart inside and making me emotionally unstable.

      Once again thank you for understanding what I’m going through it is a measure of comfort that I will treasure for a very long time.

      Thank you for reading, commenting and following Falling Star Burning Brightly.

      Dabir Dalton


  3. Oh god I really don’t know what I could possibly say to make this situation better for you… But all I can say is that I will most definitely remember you in my prayers. No I am not a wife and I am far from being one, I’m only 17. But even at such a naive and young age, I do understand what a heavenly blessing it is to be loved by who you love. And all of the blog posts are my own, but I cannot be more thankful to God that I have a very supportive, caring and loving guy that I see as one of my greatest blessings ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello Dabir,

    Thank you for the compliment. ☺. I am unmarried. I have no qualms on letting telling my age, but this is a public platform so I will refrain from telling my age.

    58 years old! Wow! My name means Gold or Beautiful. Almost similar to what google perhaps showed you. It is a Sanskrit name (one of the Indian languages, rather ancient indian language).

    HemasSphere originated from a joke where one of my friend’s pulled my leg on my proficiency in English and had nick named me as Shakespeare. As my name is Hema, it came down to HemasSphere. I like the concept and what it could mean and settled down on the name.

    I like your essay. To put in in simple terms, it takes two to tango. One cannot run a couple. Husband and wife both need to compliment and complete a relationship/marraige which involves commitment and compromise among the list.

    Life or love does not close doors until it really has, until one’s last breath. If your wife is not lovable in your view, you may be not in hers too. How you understand a person and how a person understands you is what a relationship is all about.
    Love never ends, if it was really there. Else it was not love at all. And one can fall in love a couple of times I guess. Just because one’s there are weeds grown over one’s love life, that does not mean there will be no seeds of love sown else where. Age does not matter, its the willingness to forgive and forget that matters. Sometimes its best to let go and move on.

    Have a great day, Dabir. It may not be exactly twilight years, but may be just the begining of sunshine. Rainbow is not seen until there is a little rain during a sunny day.

    Liked by 1 person

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