When i wrote the perception of value my intent was to list the different ways women meet the needs of their partners. While demonstrating that since I can provide those needs for myself I really don’t need a partner to provide them.
The question at the end of the essay directly asked today’s modern day women what they can offer that is worth a lifetime of payments.
I asked that question because our society and today’s women demand to be paid handsomely by their male partners for what they bring to the relationship whether it be marriage or another arrangement.
I can think of only two things a woman can provide that I cannot provide for myself:
In regards to having children I already have a son and am nearly nine years past the age my Dad was (50) when he told me he didn’t want to raise any more children.
Needless to say I have no intention of fathering anymore offspring of my own; nor am I interested in taking on someone else’s responsibilities second hand.
The only thing of value a woman can provide for me that I can’t actually provide for myself is companionship.
My hearts true desire is for a partner with whom I can lay on a blanket with outside at night and gaze up at the stars with.
To walk hand in hand beside the ocean blue listening to the waves ebb and flow as they caress the shore.
Someone to whom I can pour out my heart to while listening to her as well.
Someone who will chose to love me because I am worth loving.
Someone who will accept me for who I am, yet lovingly assist me in becoming a better man, without trying to change me into her own image.
A tall order I know because a woman such as this is so rare as to be non existent in our modern day society.
I have spent the past thirty-six years living with a woman who is every bit as self centered, demanding and controlling as both of my stepmothers were and even as my own mother is today.
I have absolutely no intention to repeat that experience should I get a second chance at love.
Indeed unless I can find a Pearl of Great Price and be certain that she is the real McCoy and not a faux bobble filled with unhappiness.
I will never become involved romantically with a woman ever again.
The tragedy is that it took so long and so late in my life to discover what I really wanted from a woman. That I have already made the choices that will prevent me from ever experiencing true happiness. And all I can do now is accept responsibility and endure the consequences no matter how bitter they may be.
Unfortunately the pain is so great (simply because my need is so deep) from wanting something I can never have. That I am being forced to wrap up this desire and put in a dark and deep place within my heart so that I will never find it much less think of it again.