Doing Nothing By looking the Other Way Leads to Violence

Bullying is prevalent throughout all levels of our society from our schools to our workplaces; for the simple reason that those in authority are either too scared or flat out unwilling to do anything to stop it, and deliberately allow the bullying to continue by ignoring the problem or looking the other way and blaming the victim. That is until the victim has had enough and either goes off on their bully – for which they will be severely punished – or end up taking their own life. This is the primary reason workplace shootings take place {many times it is a member of management who bullies lower level employees under his authority} and why so many young people end up committing suicide in high school and in college.

Many years ago I was forced to go to the principle of a Seventh-day Adventist church school in Phoenix Arizona to inform him; that if certain of his students didn’t leave me alone that I was going to be forced to fight them in order to stop the bullying. {I can attest from personal experience that the children of Seventh-day Adventist’s are some of the most misbehaved rude and obnoxious individuals anywhere when their parents aren’t looking} Of course like lazy and incompetent administrators everywhere he poo pooed my concerns; so that I was forced to deal with one of my tormentors so severely that he couldn’t even glance in my direction without turning as white as a sheet afterwards. The principles response then was to ask my mother to pull both my brothers and myself out of his school.

Several years later while attending a Seventh-day Adventist college in Tennessee I was forced to report to the dean of students a threat leveled at me by one of the upperclassmen. He wanted to date the girl I was dating at the time so he approached me and informed me that if I didn’t stop seeing her he was going to beat me up. The dean of students responded by saying that the girl in question could choose to date whomever she wanted. Forcing me to explain to him that that wasn’t the issue and that I was willing to take legal action against both the upperclassmen and the college should he make good on his threat. A short time later the upperclassmen who’d threatened me was asked to leave the college but only after several of the girls he’d dated and pressured into having sex with him got up the courage to complain.

Several years later while working as a packer in the alternator department at Rayloc – a division of the Genuine Auto Parts Company – one of my fellow employees began verbally abusing me. Not only did our supervisor know about it but he actually witnessed this employee verbally abusing me on more than one occasion. My supervisor told me later that he let it go on because my barking back at my tormentor indicated to him that I was able to handle the abuse.

That is until my stepfather – my mother’s seventh husband – died and I suffered an emotional crisis during the grieving process. One afternoon as I was standing on the catwalk, several inches off the floor, in front of the line the alternators came down on. My tormentor stepped up onto the catwalk and deliberately caught me by surprise by ramming into me so that I lost my balance and fell off the catwalk onto a wooden pallet.

By then I’d had enough and went off on him yelling that I was going to kick his ass after work that afternoon. By the time our shift ended I had calmed down and become rational enough to leave him alone while I thought about how to handle the situation while walking home. Only to watch as his pickup truck pulled into the parking lot I was walking past so that I was forced to ignore his taunts as he did his best to lure me over to his truck.

The next morning I talked to our supervisor and he advised me to go talk to my tormentor and that everything would be alright. But when I talked to him he informed me that he carried a gun in his truck and had planned on shooting me had I attempted to kick his ass as I’d threatened to do when he deliberately assaulted me by pushing me off the catwalk the day before.

It took me a long time to get over that incident especially since not long after the anger towards my tormentor turned inward so that I began once again considering to take my own life. As I watched our supervisor promote him into the lead man position over the alternator tear down department. Then watched as the company later promoted my tormentor into a supervisory position over part of the drive shaft department.

Small wonder that I tend not to trust those in authority and question their word more often than not. Nor do I take media reports of violent workplace and school incidents at face value especially since I myself have been there; and more often than not the media either doesn’t tell all of the story or intentionally slants their coverage of the incident. Because more often than not the lack of action of those in authority who refuse to defend those who are being bullied; and fail to put a stop to the bullying for what ever reason ends up creating the monsters who end up committing these not quite so random acts of violence all too often.

 

11 thoughts on “Doing Nothing By looking the Other Way Leads to Violence

  1. Amazing read! Really well written! In India they have Anti-ragging rules in most colleges, but despite all of that, many students still get ragged.
    It’s really sad that you’ve been through bullying in school as well as at work. I wish the higher authorities had listened to you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Ellen. Just about every workplace has an anti harassment policy in place. The problem is when someone makes a complaint and an investigation is conducted coworkers who have witnessed the bullying; refuse to collaborate the victims story and outright ly by denying that it occurred as well as and place the blame on the victim. So that the victim is labeled as not being able to get along with others.

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      1. As do i unfortunately men have their empathy towards other men socialized out of them at a very young age. What makes me unusual is that empathy is part of my identity that I refuse to give up. 🙂

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      2. Thank you I won’t! The only thing that can override my empathy is anger. The only thing that can override my anger is the empathy and compassion of another heart – such as yours? That’s why your friendship is so important to be me! 🙂

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  2. The difference in lust and true love is:

    Lust covets/demands what one isn’t supposed to have…

    True Love accepts unconditionally only what the other can give even if the other cannot return their love as deeply as they would like…

    Two friends can love each other as deeply as a married couple be they:

    Pen Pals
    Two men
    Two women
    Father Son
    Mother Son
    Father Daughter
    Mother Daughter

    For only the expression of physical/sexual love is reserved for marriage…

    True Love is not dependent upon the physical or sexual and thus can be experienced by everyone…

    This is what David meant when he said the love of Jonathan was better than the love of women…

    For both David and Jonathan had experienced true love for each other…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. About the man who assaulted you, then threatened to kill you, and then was promoted a few times, we’ve known (very few) people like that… and we’ve watched long enough to see God punish them, sometimes severely.

    I just wrote a few days ago about dealing with that kind of thing. Just today a mentor told me that praying for them to come to repentance and thanking God for the things they’ve done to you, are strange and powerful prayers that sometimes gets them to realize what they’ve done through things like that happening to them finally.

    I’m so sorry you thought about taking your life. Those kinds of people eventually do seem to get what they deserve… they “reap what they sow,” kind of thing. And truth eventually outs itself even if they deny they ever played a part in doing you harm.

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    1. Thank you Stephanie!

      He was indeed punished and very severely – he and his wife lost the child she was carrying through a miscarriage. It’s been twenty years since that incident and I don’t think about him except for whenever I’m dealing with the issues of bullying and gas lighting.

      The one’s involved in what happened last March of 2017 (discussed in My Dream Come True!) I have indeed forgiven and moved on. Leaving them in God’s hands to be dealt with as he sees fit.

      Thank you for following, reading, liking and commenting!

      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Wow… it’s sad to read but I know that’s kind of how God works even though it may seem “unloving” or “harsh.”

        Just today my mentor told me that praying for them to come to repentance often brings about things like that, and that it’s actually a loving response from God because it’s ultimately helping them to change (even though it’s harsh).

        Even my dad has seen things like that… one time a woman who was very nasty (and older! You’d think they’d learn by a certain age but no!), ended up getting cancer in her nose and having the have a lot of her face cut off. She went from extremely prideful and critical of others, to so affected pscyhologically from her deformity that whatever pride was there before that caused her to be so nasty, was replaced with trying to never be seen and feeling social anxiety and humiliation everywhere she went in public.

        It was really sad. I would see her around town, too (my dad having told me the backstory), and it was a definite lesson in reaping and sowing.

        Liked by 1 person

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